Still not sure about the whole God thing?

Neither was I. Actually, I was very successful at ignoring the concept almost entirely for many years. One day I found myself with a husband, two kids, a home and a job to maintain, and my life had turned into one big race against time.

My sister gave me a sign up sheet for a Christian women's retreat she was attending. The idea of spending twenty-four hours away from my responsibilities was incredibly enticing. I decided to go. Honestly, my heart's desire was to get twenty-four hours of relief, I had no special desire to find God.

Miraculously, nothing happened to interfere with my plan, so I found myself heading up to Maine with a bunch of women I didn't know, who were all excited about getting close to God. Not me. I was just excited to get away.

During the prayer, bible study, discussion and meditations we did, I felt the presence of God. On this day, I made a conscious decision to find out, once and for all, if this God-thing was real, or if it was some collective delusion really nice people had that I had somehow absorbed in my twenty-four hours with them.

This key decision, and the actions and events that followed it, have resulted in a fundamental, irreversible transformation in my spirit that I have never regretted. It is my hope that by sharing my experience, you too may find the joy and peace I have found in finding, once and for all, Truth.

My first action was to make a leap of faith. I decided to try really hard to believe, and sought God with all my heart, all my mind and all my soul.

I read the Bible - every day. I started with the Gospels.
I bought some contemporary gospel music and listened to it.
I prayed - every day.
  I prayed on my knees.
    I prayed sitting on the floor, in a chair, on my bed.
      I prayed flat on my back - on the floor, in my bed.
        I prayed in my car.
          I sought prayer from the church healing team and attended the healing services.
I thought and wondered about what it all meant many, many times during each day.
When I felt God was guiding me to do something, I did it.

I gave it everything I had, and in a remarkably short time (only a couple of months), I had some answers. God IS, and true to His word,

"You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart." 
(Jeremiah 29:13)

He manifests His presence in many ways, usually quietly. (So quietly that our skeptical human nature can easily pass it off as an anomaly if we want to.) Sometimes He speaks more firmly. There is a physical sensation associated with the deep peace and love He brings to His children, those who have sought Him and allowed Him to claim them as His own.

Today, I still have the same husband, kids, house and job. And they still have me. Today, I also have a fundamental reliance on God through Jesus Christ, our Savior.

It hasn't radically changed my day-to-day behavior, or my relationships with those whom I love. It has radically changed the way I look at the world, and the way I feel as I face each day.

Physically, I feel "lighter." My muscles move more easily and tense less quickly than they used to. Mentally, my mind is clearer -  less cluttered by meaningless distractions that I used to think were so important. Emotionally, I have a greater capacity to give, and to enjoy giving, than I used to.

Spiritually, I am finally alive.